2000miler

The Search for Wisdom

2008-04-14T10:25:00.003-05:00

It has been over a year now since I left the trail. In that year I have learned much. I built my portfolio as a web developer to the point that I can now charge three times more than I used to. I have perfected one foreign language and begun working on another. I have read hundreds of academic journals and medieval italian poems. My college career and along with it the rest of my life has become an endless pursuit of knowledge.

The trail was different. It was an endless pursuit of sorts, but the goal was something different. The goal was never a mountain top or a mile marker or a state line. The objective was enlightenment, and enlightenment comes from wisdom, not knowledge. In my short stint on the Appalachian Trail, I got a taste of that enlightenment. As an atheist it is sometimes difficult to find an outlet for my spiritual needs. I agree with science because of it's fundamental ideals of the pursuit of the truth. But the truth that science seeks is one of knowledge, not wisdom. There are questions that cannot be answered by biologists and chemists. There are problems that cannot be solved with beakers and petri dishes. But these answers and solutions do not come from any of the "revealed" religions, at least not for me. In fact, they come from no religion at all but really just a philosophy.

During my time at Elmer's Sunnybank Inn, I was intrigued by the plethora of Buddhist literature available, and so in three days I devoured as much of it as possible. In Buddhism I searched for the answers to my own questions. I searched for the serenity to be happy, despite an injury that had potentially ended my hopes of achieving my life's dream. For a time, the principles of Buddhism worked well, but it soon became apparent that Buddhism was not a long term solution. The idea of numbing myself to my desires and ignoring my pains left a foul taste in my mouth. The teachings of the Buddha were just painkillers for my problems, and drugs weren't what I needed at the time.

At Miss Janet's house, seeking only to expand my knowledge and not in a search for any enlightenment, I began to read the Bhagavad Gita. Golden Boy, a thruhiker who stayed for a few days, suggested that I try the Tao Te Ching. And so I did.

There is an obvious sort of wisdom to the Tao. The principles are fairly simple. Round pegs go in round holes. Work with the nature of things and not against it. The small taste of enlightenment that I had received was tantalizing. The lessons of the literature were reinforced by my own experiences and observations while hiking. I look forward to the day when I can return the trail and finish my real education. College is teaching me how to have conversations and arguments with other Highly Educated People. It is teaching me how to perform well at a potential job, and how to write Long Boring Essays that will likely never be read. It is an education, and I think a valuable one, but nothing can compare with the wisdom of the trail. The trail can teach us how to be happy and effective people in every aspect of our lives. It's lessons help us in work, relationships, and even in dealing with getting dressed laying down because a back injury makes it impossible to do so standing up.

If you were following my progress here, you know that on April 7th I returned home from Miss Janet's House in order to heal what I thought was a simple pulled groin muscle. After two MRIs and 6 different doctors, the final conclusion was that I had a pulled Psoas muscle, which would take much longer to heal. Nine months later, in January, my pain had not gone down, and instead it was getting worse. I sought further medical attention, and was referred to a Osteopath nearby who specializes in back and neck injuries. He looked at my original MRIs from April and immediately saw two slipped discs in my spine. The discs have slid out and are pressing against the nerves, causing the intense pain in my leg which is called sciatica. It is beyond me why neither the radiologist, orthopedic surgeon, chiropractor, nor the other osteopath saw these slipped discs, as even I was able to see the abnormality.

And so in February I began several long weeks of treatment, which end this week. I am not fully healed, but I am a somewhat functional participant in society once more, and with my limited wisdom I am managing to stay positive and keep my head high. With a little luck, my injury will eventually heal and I will be left with only my lessons to remind me of the trail.

So that is what is going on with Mr. Happy. Still gimpy, still happy, and still on a wild goose hunt for something in particular with little idea what that something may be.

The End for Now

2007-07-13T21:38:00.000-05:00

Some of you out there may be wondering where in the world is Mr. Happy (Signor Felice, Josh, what ever you want to call me). How is he? Can he walk yet? When will he be back on the trail? Others of you probably coudn’t care less. Those people probably don’t read my journal though.
Here are the short answers:
I am at home in western Massachusetts.
I am doing pretty well, if a little worse for the wear.
I can sort-of walk.
I will be back on the trail at the next opportunity. Most likely next summer. I will attempt another complete thru-hike most likely after I graduate in 4 years.

Of course, the short answers leave rise to more questions, such as “what does ‘sort-of walk’ mean?”
It means that I am definitely not 100% healed yet. Here is the story of what I have done since I came home in April.

I spent a few days recuperating, physically and mentally, from having actually left the trail. My whole family was in town for Easter, but I did not feel very social, and so mostly I kept to myself. I continued to sleep in a sleeping bag, rather than under the covers of my bed. I ate everything and anything in sight. Somehow my metabolism had never quite gotten used to NOT walking 10-20 miles each day. Within the first week I saw my physician and a chiropractor. The chiropractor adjusted my back, which was thrown out from limping, and helped me with the recuperation of my leg. My physician told me I had simply pulled a muscle and all I need was time. If it was still a problem, I should come see him in a month.
One month later I was even worse. Perhaps I should have been resting more, but I must admit that the idea of being completely bedridden did not appeal to me in the least. On the other hand, walking 3 miles to work one day was not the best idea. And so I found myself once more at my Doctor’s office. He sympathized with me and quickly ordered an MRI scan of my right thigh. It took another two weeks for me to actually get an appointment for that.
Getting an MRI is scary. I am mildly claustrophobic, but not so bad. It wasn’t the tight space that was scary. They slide you into the machine and give you headphones to listen to music on, and a call button should an emergency arise. For some reason, my music was the same 3 Greenday songs, repeated on loop. But I haven’t gotten to the scary part yet. Imagine the sound a heart-rate monitor makes when you are dying (or dead): that screeching alarm that calls half of the hospital’s doctors into the room. Now imagine that sound played at about 10 times normal volume, in a 2ft. diameter tube that you happen to be laying in. Oh, and did I mention that you are strapped down with gigantic velcro straps, and that they have something that feels like a lead blanket over your chest? Yeah. And then the part of the lead blanket near your crotch starts to vibrate, in a quite uncomfortable way. And to top it all off, right above my head there was a small glass lens with a label. The label read “Laser aperture. Do not stare!” Of course, the thing I wasn’t supposed to stare at was pretty much all I could see. And so I do my best to lay still and ignore my surroundings for the next 45 minutes (that’s how long an MRI takes). But they haven’t even started the machine up yet. All of a sudden there is a noise below me and the whole machine starts vibrating. It feels as if you are inside an old, clunky photocopier.
So that’s what an MRI is like. Nothing torturous, but not the best way to spend a beautiful summer day. Anyhow, a few days later I get a postcard in the mail that says “Your MRI came back ‘normal’.” Somewhat perplexed as to the meaning of normal, I make an appointment with an orthopedist, hoping for more answers.
Yet another week later I am at the orthopedist office, where I am told that my leg is a perfectly normal leg. No torn muscles. No broken femurs or hip joints.
“Are you sure that’s my right leg?” I ask, “’cause it sure hurts like hell.”
And the orthopedist suspects that the problem is coming from my back. He suggests possible nerve damage. Simply wonderful. A quick X-ray shows nothing, and so I am ordered in for yet another MRI. This time I come prepared, and bring a CD of music I like.
“Oh we can’t give you music this time.” the woman tells me, “you’re too far in for your back.”
Actually, since I knew what to expect, the second time was not nearly as bad, and before I knew it I was sliding out of the machine.
“Cut to the chase already!” you are probably thinking. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren’t you out there kicking ass on the Appalachian Trail?”
I was wondering the same things for the past 3 months.
The second MRI comes up negative. I have a perfectly healthy back, as far as magnetic rays can tell.
Finally I decide to see an ostiopath (DO). The one I saw happens to be my best friend’s Dad, but he is also probably one of the best ostiopaths in the country. I should have seen him right away. Within five minutes he determines, by poking various muscles and nerves, that I have a severely strained Ilio-Psoas muscle. He pulls out a medical text book and shows me the muscle. It runs from the lower back, through the pelvis, to the inner thigh. It’s connection in the thigh is right around the area where my pain had been originating. It’s also right where the adductors muscle connects, which is why my physician had suspected that muscle. An hour with the ostiopath left me feeling much better, and with a full knowledge of what I can and shouldn’t do.
Basically, I am restricted to walking about the house and to the car. No swimming with kicking (I can swim if I use a pull-buoy that prevents my legs from moving, but helps them float), no running, no walking far, no carrying anything heavy, etc. Hopefully, I will be better soon, though due to the position of the muscle and the severity of the strain, I don’t expect to be doing anything serious this season.
Other than that, I am doing well. For exercise I kayak or swim (with the pull-buoy). I’ve left a note with my phone number in the Hemlocks Shelter on Mt. Everett and I am occasionally called by a thru-hiker in need of a ride to town. Whenever possible I try to help them out, and I head up to the hemlocks shelter often to camp and offer any passing hikers some extra food (the shelter is a mere .25 miles from a parking lot).
School starts on August 24th. I can’t wait.

Thank you all for reading my journal, for commenting, for your support, your emails, and advice. I’ll be back. I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But sooner rather than later, I’ll be at the plaque on Springer Mountain once more, looking north to the horizon, preparing to put one foot in front of the other for as far as I can go. Hopefully, I’ll see you out there too.

Happy Trails,
Mr. Happy

Summary

2007-07-13T20:56:00.000-05:00

The following was originally written in an e-mail to my high-school teacher Mr. Scanlon on May 1st. I have decided that it is a good summary of my hike, and worthy of publication. Here it is, with a few edits.

On January 12th I flew down to Mississippi to my girlfriend Margaret's house. Her and her father drove me to Atlanta, Georgia, near the southern terminus of the Appalachian Trail. On January 15th I began my long, long journey. For two days, it was warm, which is what I expected so far south. Then the Georgia mountains started to look more like the realm of Hades than the american south. The temperatures dropped below 0 almost every night, and rarely rose above 20 (F) during the day. A few inches of ice covered every surface. On January 28th it got so cold (-15 degrees F with a 40-mph wind) in North Carolina that I didn't sleep at all, and in the morning I was quite hypothermic. I walked 5 miles (it took me almost 5 hours I was so cold) to the top of a mountain, where there was a road and my cell phone worked, and I called for an evacuation. Having had enough of winter, I got a ride back to a hostel I had stayed at in Georgia, where they allowed me to work-for-stay for a week, while things "warmed up". During that week two feet of snow fell, and it did warm up - a little. I set off again. A week later, I came to the top of Shuckstack mountain near the Tennessee border, and looking back, decided that I had had enough. It was still only 30 degrees, cloudy, dead, and desolate. I was the only living thing for hundreds of miles. The occasional squirrel would pop it's head out of a warm hole and look at me as if to say "What the hell are you doing you crazy bugger? Don't you know it's WINTER?" and so, realizing the silliness of my ways, I resolved to head home until Spring. I took the greyhound bus, and now have a newfound respect for the Italian public transportation system. It may not be as good as Germany, but it's cheap and you don't have to go all the way to Cleveland Ohio just to get to Massachusetts (thats about 800 miles out of the way).

While I was home in February the North East got hit with 4-10 feet of snow, depending on where you were. I actually enjoyed it this time, since I didn't have to sleep in it, and managed to make some money by shoveling it for people. This recovered what I'd spent to leave the trail.

On March 2nd my Dad offered to fly me back to where I had left off. We had another little side adventure on the flight down in his small airplane, as we were rerouted by weather twice. The whole trip took 3 days. On March 5th my Dad hiked up Shuckstack mountain with me, and then headed back down the way we'd come. He would go home, and I would continue. My journey would be much improved. It was sixty degrees out, and I had traveling companions this time -- 3 other hikers who we met the night before at the hotel we had stayed at. Myself and my 3 companions hiked together for two beautiful days, and even formed a group which we called the "Fellowship of the Egg", a take on the Lord of The Rings. Eggs are hikers favorite food in town, because they are cheap, full of protein, and delicious. Sadly, on the third morning I was forced to leave the Fellowship of the Egg. I had pulled a muscle in my leg (I thought) from hiking too hard, too far, too soon. I had fallen out of shape during my brief hiatus, but I had expected to be able to come back to the trail and hike as if I had never left. This was a mistake. Sadly I said goodbye to my friends, and headed down a side trail towards the tourist town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. From there I took another greyhound bus to Margaret's house. She had been planning on visiting me for her Spring break, but since I was injured and needed somewhere to heal up, it made more sense for me to visit her. After yet another week I was walking around as if nothing had happened, and Margaret drove me back to the trail. I made it one mile before my injury represented itself and I was forced to turn around. Determined not to throw in the towel, I tagged along with someone who was being shuttled farther up the trail, beyond Great Smokey Mountain National Park, to a hostel called Standing Bear Farm. There I met Curtis, the owner, a genuine tennessee hill billy and a genuinely nice guy. I spent a week there before getting restless and deciding to hitchhike farther north with another hiker. The two of us made it to Hot Springs, North Carolina, and Elmer's Sunnybank Inn, a Zen Retreat by winter and a hiker haven by summer. Books were everywhere, and an all organic vegetarian meal was served everynight. It was always delicious despite the lack of meat. Three days in Hot Springs and it was time to move on again. Bear with me... the story is coming to a close.

I hitchiked to Erwin, Tennessee, and Miss Janet's House, another hiker hostel. Miss Janet let me sleep in the hammock out back for free, and in exchange I helped with the chores. I stayed for half a month, and met a lot of hikers, learned how to cook a little, and made a lot of friends. Finally, I was driven to Asheville airport and I flew home once more, my long journey over -- for now.

Doctors have told me that I can expect to hike regularly again in June. I probably won't go back to the trail, as I won't have enough time to finish, but I will certainly be involved in the trail community. I plan to do "trail magic" in the area where the trail comes near to my own home. Trail magic is something townfolk often do for hikers, taking warm hot meals out to places where the trail crosses a road, and feeding the hikers, taking their trash for them, and offering them rides into town.

Beauty Spot

2007-04-05T21:51:00.000-05:00

This photo is from the parking lot below the "Beauty Spot". Two nights ago, a group of hikers who call themselves the "Riders on the Storm", called Miss Janet's house and jokingly asked if she could bring beer and pizza to where they were camping. They were on top of a mountain called the Beauty Spot, which was accessible via a forest service road. The 12 of us from the hostel piled into Miss Janet's van and headed up the hill, with the van threatening to quit at any minute as it chugged and jumped up the rough road. As we walked towards the riders' campsite around midnight, we started yelling in our best southern drawls "You god-damn yankees get off of my mountain. Go home you freakin' hippies!" and such stuff. Scared out of their wits, head-lamp adorned heads started to pop their way out of the tents. When the saw us, toting several cases of beer, their fears were allayed.

The Beauty spot is a bald (treeless) mountain field, hedged in by forest, but with an amazing view to the south. I headed north on my own, towards the beautiful full moon which was casting a shallow blue light on the trees. After a few hundred feet I found some firewood and shouted for help to carry it. Once we came back up to the top of the hill with several large logs, the lightening storm had begun.

From this vantage point, almost higher than the clouds, I could see where the Ancient Greeks got the idea that lightening was "thrown" from the heavens by Zeus. The bolts were raining down on Tennessee, hundreds of miles away, so far that we couldn't hear the thunder. The entire sky was illuminated on one side by the brightness of the moon and then backlit on the other side by the lightening bolts. The majesty reached me, and I sat on the fringe of the glow of the campfire.

At first, I was saddened by the fact that I was coming home, leaving wonderful experiences such as this one behind. I thought back to the pieces of the Tao Te Ching that I had read that morning, and started to try to enjoy the moment, and as I did so I came to the realization that I wasn't leaving experiences like this behind... I was having them. I was out there, enjoying myself, and I would be able to continue to do so no matter where I went. If I hadn't injured myself, I would have been long past Miss Janet's by now and never have seen this lightening storm. If I hadn't been stupid and not started in January, I never would have met Zero, who I believe to be one of the greatest human beings I have had the pleasure of meeting. If I hadn't had a moment of weakness and gone home in February for a break, I wouldn't have met Juniper, Salamander, or Backyard Boogie.

Everything, no matter how terrible it may have seemed, has conspired to send me on an amazing adventure. By going with the flow, I will not only be able to enjoy it in retrospect as I am now, but as it is happening, something I have always struggled to do. Almost all of my outdoor experiences have been miserable while I was out there, doing it, but once I finish and think back upon them, I have nothing but good memories of laughter and fun.

If I can learn to enjoy the experiences as I experience them, life could become a blissful voyage.

A Short Break

2007-04-02T18:54:00.000-05:00

It feels strange, finally accepting the fact that I have thrown in the towel for this year. My week at Miss Janet's house last week was amazing, and on Thursday one of the hikers -- Otto -- was going to Boone. Since I have a friend at Lee's McRae, near there, I decided to hitch a ride and spend the weekend with Wentworth. I had a pretty good time and was distracted enough to keep my mind off of the fact that I wasn't going to Maine. I am so glad now that I pushed on through those hard times in January. Coming off trail due to an injury is bad enough. I now understand what people have been telling me, that coming off trail due to lack of determination is something I would never be able to forgive myself for.

After three days of fun in Boone/Banner Elk, I got a ride with some of Wentworth's friends back here to Erwin. I'll be staying here and helping out Miss Janet for another week, and on Saturday I'll be flying home. I chose to go home for several reasons. First and foremost, I need medical attention. I picked this Saturday so that I could be home for Easter and see some of my relatives, as I've essentially been absent for the past two years. Finally, and this one is mostly just a bonus, I'll be going to an open house at UVM, something I couldn't do last year, and as icing on the cake, Margaret will be going to an open house at Middlebury, 30 minutes down the road, so we'll get to see each other.

I'm going to treat this trip similar to when I went home in February -- I'm visiting, not returning. I'm going to regroup and then head out on another adventure. What that adventure is, I don't know.

Currently I am reading the Tao of Pooh, and I think that for the next few months I shall embrace the Taoist principle of going with the flow.

Miss Janet's House

2007-03-26T09:13:00.000-05:00

Please excuse the recent lack of updates. I have been taking a crazy emotional ride the past few days trying to come to terms with the fact that my thruhike is basically done for this year. I know I said I'd accepted the fact in a previous post, and I had, but it still comes back every now and then (read: 50 minutes out of every hour). Even if I was healed right now and started walking, I would have about 120 days to hike 2000 miles... and that's just not a speed I want to maintain. It would suck all of the fun out of hiking.

Right now, I am at Miss Janet's House in Erwin TN. I hithchiked here from Hot Springs on Saturday morning. Miss Janet's house is a trail legend... it's one of those places that is not optional: You MUST go to Miss Janet's. I have an arrangement worked out with Miss Janet: I can stay as long as I need to, to heal. In exchange, I help take care of the hikers while she is out running shuttles. She is also practically forcing me to ice my leg and take ibuprofen regularly. I've got an ace bandage wrapped around it and the swelling is finally starting to go down. I check on WebMD.com: the injury I have best fits a "Class II Groin Strain", which often takes several months to heal completely.

Miss Janet's house really is amazing, and I understand why it is such a destination. Miss Janet herself is one of the kindest people I've met, and she pulls hikers in. It's hard to leave. Most people end up staying for 3 or more days. Every morning we wake up (i've been sleeping on the couch or the floor because the place is so packed) and cook breakfast. Usually a few hikers and locals help out. There's this one local guy, kind of old, who rides his bike up in the morning and then helps set the table up and serve the food. He stands up while we all eat and runs stuff back and forth from the kitchen, telling old jokes the whole time. It's absolutely hilarious. He was thrilled to hear that I was from Great Barrington, as he'd skiied there before. After breakfast, I clean up, and the hikers head out to their various slackpacking routes. I sit on the couch all day with an ice pack and a book. I don't really get bored though because there are so many people coming and going all day.

What about the future? Well, if I heal up quickly, and am able to do small miles, I may do a little bit more hiking before coming home to the Berkshires. And just because I'm not thruhiking this year doesn't mean i'm through hiking this year. I may take a few short trips in New England, on the AT or possibly a thruhike of the Long Trail in Vermont.

I really can't say how thankful I am for all of the support I have received. I feel terrible about letting all of my fans and supporters down. If I had been a bit stronger and not gone home in February, or if I had been less stubborn and quit hiking when I got the blister in the Smokies, maybe this wouldn't have happened. There would have been a lot of ways to avoid it, but I try not to focus on that. I had invaluable learning experiences so far (and I still am), and I will have many chances in the future to come back and try again, which I fully intend to do. As for the finish date pool... one person said they wanted to revoke their bet. That's fine. I'll send back all of the bets.

Thank you so much to all of the people who sent me donations and care packages. I leave you with two options:
1) I'll give back the donation, with the promise that you may donate again next time I try, or
2) I will use the money for trail magic, to help out other hikers.

Also, to any hikers reading this, if you're ever on the AT in northern Connecticut or southern Mass, give me a call or an e-mail and if I'm in town I would love to come hike with you, maybe arrange some slackpacking and some home cooked meals. If i've met you and hiked with you, your presence is requested. Everyone else is welcome too.

So thanks again for all the support. I may not be going to Maine, but the adventure is far from over, so don't stop reading! If you're browsing around for something to read and I haven't updated, check out the Grease Frightening Saga (the link is on the upper right).

You, my readers, rock. You're the best.

Happy Trails,

Mr. Happy

Thumbin' It to Hot Springs

2007-03-22T12:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, after nearly a week at Standing Bear Farm, I finally made a move. El-Train had hiked in from Newfound Gap (he bailed from the Smokies the day before I did with a sprained knee) and he wanted to make up some time, so the two of us decided to hitch-hike to Hot Springs.

Before I go into story-telling, let me just say that I am feeling greatly optimistic and rarring to get out there and hike to Maine.

Anyways, in the morning El-Train and I started packing up and Curtis offered to drive us down to hwy. 70, which would leave us with a straight shot all the way into Hot Springs. He dropped us off at 11:00 and within 5 minutes a car pulled over to pick us up. We piled into a tiny baby blue toyota that reeked of cigarettes, and met Robin, our driver. El-Train, in an attempt to be nice, commented on the beauty of the area.

"I'm not from Newport, I'm from Cosby. There all a bunch of nigger-lovers in Newport. There ain't sh*t in Newport." Robin exclaimed.

El-Train and I exchanged a look that said "If I jump out will you follow me?"

She then went on to explain that she didn't even know where Maine was, and didn't think we'd be able to find it, and that to get to Hot Springs we really should have been on a different road.

"The interstate goes to North Carolina. You've got to get to North Carolina and then you can go to Hot Springs or wherever. You should be on the interstate." Robin then dropped us off at a parking lot in front of a bar where she worked. The place was a trailer in the middle of nowhere, about 20 miles away from Hot Springs but still on the right road, as we knew and Robin apparently didn't. Her final message was one of warning,

"I don't like North Carolina. It's always cold, even in summer."

After an hour of no luck in front of the bar, El-Train and I walked farther down to see if we could find a gas station or something less sketchy. We walked about a mile, with frequent rests for my leg, and just as we were starting to lose hope, faced with a continuous uphill and several barking dogs, a woman pulled over in her pickup truck and told us she could get us within 7 miles of Hot Springs. We hopped in the back, thanking her profusely, and set off once more. We were elated, and exchanged looks of joy. The wind rushing in our hair was pure bliss... i meant motion, progress, and being that much closer to a real meal (The food available at Standing Bear Farm, while better than trail-food, was still all frozen). I commented to El-Train,

"All of the books about the AT have pictures of trees and mountains on the cover. If I write a book about the AT, the cover will be plain white with a huge freaking cheeseburger in the middle." It's all about food -- and I'd barely hiked in the past two weeks.

Finally we were dropped off at a gas station. El-Train bought a pepsi and some beef jerky and we started walking. Finally we were picked up in another pickup truck, and taken straight into downtown. We had made the 35 mile trip in 3 hours and 4 rides. Not bad, we thought.

In Hot Springs, I checked into Elmer's Sunnybank Inn. It's an old victorian home on a hill, with a music room and several original bathrooms with large claw-foot tubs. Most describing is the book collection. Every room in the house is filled with bookshelves. Every left-wing political or social commentary book ever written can be found at Elmer's, along with a huge collection on Zen Buddhism, the entire works of nature-writer Edward Abbey, and a large shelf of books on the AT, among many other collections that I have yet to discover.

And they serve dinner. An amazing three course vegetarian meal, family style, at 7 o'clock every night. Last night we had cheesy corn chowder, a salad, and a red curry on rice, finishing with homemade cherry cobbler and vanilla ice cream. Wow! It was the best $10 I've ever spent on food.

Today I am just running errands - post office, outfitters, laundry, etc. Tomorrow I'll read and pack, and on Saturday I plan to hit the trail again... FINALLY! I am so pumped up. I want to go RIGHT NOW, but everytime I walk up steps I am reminded that to do so would be very unwise.

More on my stay at Standing Bear Farm coming tomorrow, maybe.

Thumbs Up

2007-03-17T12:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I slept in as my clock had not been adjusted for DST. I awoke, quickly packed up, and checked out. I had a large breakfast at the Pancake house, then call Curtis at Standing Bear Farm. I split the $40 shuttle with a section hiker and came up here. Last night myself and three thru hikers were here. I built a fire in the wood stove but we didn't have enough wood to keep it going for long. This morning the other three left, leaving me. It was really freaking cold. I had breakfast and got back in my sleeping bag and piled 3 blankets on top. Now that the sun is shining I've poked my head out again.

I've been lost in thought for the past few days, and I've made a few important realizations. I may have said the first two before, but only now do I truely believe them: 1) I might not make it to Maine; 2) It doesn't matter; 3) It doesn't mean I have to go home...

That last realization was a big one. Before the only options I considered were "Maine or Bust!", but I now realize that even though I probably won't make it to Maine with the time and money I have remaining, I can stay out here for a few months and keeping looking for whatever it was I am looking for. More on that subject later. Anyways, I'm at Standing Bear Farm letting my leg heal at least until Monday. Tomorrow I'll go for a little day hike to test out my leg. On Monday I'll get my mail drop and try to hike (slowly) to Hot Springs. It's 30 miles and I'll give myself 4-5 days to do it. If the hike goes well, I may continue hiking North to Erwin. If not, I'll yellow blaze my way up the trail until I can hike more, and by combination of yellow blazing and hiking just get myself whereever adventure takes me, indirectly headed North towards Home. When I run out of time or money or get sick of it, I'll just go home. Thats the tentative plain, but really I'm just going to make each decision as I come to it.

Boomerang Style

2007-03-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

On Wednessday Margaret and I drove to Sewanee, TN and spent the evening with Margaret's sister, Susie, and her friends. In the morning the three of us set out for Gatlinburg with ominous clouds on the horizon behind us. Since we left central time and entered eastern, and also because we spent 2 hours driving around looking for the trailhead, I didn't get to the trail until 4 PM. I had 9 uphill miles to go - an estimated 5 hours of hiking. No matter, hiking in the dark along a trail I'd already walked would be no big deal. I said a very painful goodbye to Margaret, and even as she drove away I thought of running after them. I had been having second thoughts all day. I resisted the urge, and saddled up. I spent the first ten minutes of walking fighting my emotional demons. I could run down to the ranger station 2 miles away and call them and they could come get me. Eventually, I conquered my demons, or at least put them away temporarily, and started to get into the swing of hiking again. And just then, when I finally actually wanted to continue, my leg started to hurt worse than ever. I stopped, but I didn't want to turn around. I kept walking, but it hurt, so I turned around. I walked back and forth over the same 100 yards about 5 times in my indecision. Finally, I turned around one last time and headed downhill, but even as I reached the parking lot I regretted my decision somewhat. My leg reminded me that I had no choice.

I began to trot down to the ranger station. Margaret and Susie would be hours away by now. A couple stopped and picked me up. At the ranger station there was no phone, so we went into Gatlinburg. By the time I called Margaret, they were in Chatanooga, 3 hours away. I felt terrible even asking them to turn around. Naturally, they decided it was too far and just kept going. I checked in to the Grand Prix motel for the night to get out of the rain.

The Return (Again)

2007-03-14T09:03:00.000-05:00

I'm going back to the trail, finally! My groin wasn't very sore yesterday, just a little stiff, and so today I am driving with Margaret to Chatanooga to visit her sister, and tomorrow the two of them are going to take me to Gaitlinburg. I'll be hiking tomorrow afternoon! My back, legs and feet are less than thrilled, but I am uber-excited.

Happy Trails!

Time Out

2007-03-09T11:49:00.000-05:00

I really, really, really want to hike today. It's beautiful and sunny and my pack almost looks comfortable. But I can't. My leg still hurts whenever I move it or walk. The pain is excruciating on uphills and steps, but otherwise quite bearable. I am under instructions from two separate Doctors to give myself at least a week to heal. So in a few minutes I'll be getting a ride to Knoxville, whence I can get a bus to either Johnson City where my friend Wentworth lives, or to Jackson to visit Margaret. I will take a week off, and then head back to Gaitlinburg to resume my long march North. I plan to be back in Gaitlinburg next Wednesday or Thursday. I'll have to get a ride to the Elkmont Campground and hike back up the 9 mile Greenbrier trail. I'll then backtrack .1 miles to the Derrick Knob Shelter where I stayed on Tuesday, and take it easy for a week or so to get my leg back in action safely.

I spent yesterday riding the Trolleys around Gaitlinburg. I went to the post office and sent some of my warmer clothing home, as well as my faulty headlamp. I sent Salamander his shoes... I meant to include a thank you note but the woman in the post office sealed the package before I could slip it in. I guess I'll send a letter later. I am so grateful to the "fellowship of the egg". I probably could have made it without them, but it would have been much more miserable. The Guadiness of Gaitlinburg is a HUGE shock coming from the woods. Ripley's Belive It Or Not and amusement park rides, ice cream stands, tatoo parlors, indoor ice skating rinks, and motel upon motel upon motel advertising perks such as "Coffee, IN ROOM!" or "No Cleaning Service on Sunday". The Trolley drivers each felt the need to talk to me. I wouldn't have minded a conversation, but I think they couldn't hear me due to the engine noise, and so I just listened to stories about their grandchildren.

One man told me about Gaitlinburg 40 years ago, when it was just becoming a tourist attraction. Apparently it all began after World War II, when hiking became popular as a recreational sport. All of a sudden the Great Smokey Mountains weren't just for hillbillies and moonshiners, but a vacation destination. It is interesting to me that Gaitlinburg, which became a tourist town before the Automobile Age, is all accessible by foot, and packed in to 8 tight blocks, whereas nearby Pidgeon Forge, which developed later, is strip mall paradise. Truely, technology has brought us forward. When I realized this, I also realized part of the beauty of taking six months off from it all to live in the woods. I am assuming that the "living in the woods" part of my hike will come later. So far, and this isn't a bad thing at all, but really a marvelous thing, my hike has been not about mountains or miles, but about the people: Zero, Winton, Cornbread, Felicity, Cardboard Princess, Crutch, Laura & Frank, Hikernutt, Ron Haven, the Albany Georgia Boys, Jeff & Nancy, Domino, the Fellowship of the Egg to name a few.

Dam. I can't wait to get back out there.

Gaitlinburg

2007-03-07T17:57:00.000-05:00

Well, despite not wanting to come into Gaitlinburg, TN, here I find myself. So how did I get here?

My Dad covered the first morning pretty well. After he left, I sat around and waited for Salamander, Juniper, and Boogie to eat lunch. From now on, I shall refer to the three of them as the "fellowship of the egg", as that's what they started calling themselves. That day I became an honorary, but temporary member. I hope to someday be properly initiated. Anyways, the fellowship had lunch, then set out with me in front, since I was pumped up and blazin' fast. Juniper was close behind me, and Boogie and Salamander took up the rear. After a few hours like this, adrenaline gave way to lactic acid and Juniper blew past me. I slowed down even more due to a hot-spot on my heel, but I knew I was almost to the shelter. Once I was there, I let out a "Hallelujah!". We all gathered firewood and Salamander built a fire. I got water for Boogie and he gave me some Snickers. Then I took off my boots and made the first of two troubling discoveries: I had a huge blister on the back of my heel. I rubbed it with neosporin and covered it with my largest band-aid, which barely covered 1/4 of it, then a layer of ducttape. The sun set, and I made a second troubling discovery: my headlamp was broken. The batteries weren't dead, but just in case I tried changing them. Still no light. Luckily, Juniper had a spare LED keychain light, which I fumbled about with all night. We passed a bottle of Apple Cider around the fire, had dinners, then went to bed. I didn't sleep through the night, but for the first time ever I was SWEATING in my sleeping bag. Mollies Ridge Shelter was great, with a fireplace inside, plenty of room, and a giant tarp to keep the wind out. The next morning was a slow start - we got going around 9:30. We stopped at a shelter 3 miles out and I took off my boots to inspect the blister. Salamander and Boogie exclaimed their disgust. "That's really bad man." the told me. And so they convinced me to carry my boots and hike in Juniper's "Crocs" (sandle/moccasin shoes). After another 3 miles, we came to Spence Field shelter, where I made refried beans and burritos for lunch.. yum.. and traded Juniper's crocs for those of Salamander, which fit a little better. The climb up Rocky Top followed. It was rough in Sandles, and Juniper said that I sounded like a kick-boxing video game with all of my grunts. I felt like I was being punched too. On the way up we passed a side trail, 5 miles to a parking lot. We also met some day hikers at the top, and I considered bailing out and getting a ride to civilization, but decided against it quickly. I was having too much fun, and it was just one little blister. From the top of Rocky Top, we enjoyed spectacular views, with thru-hiker "L-Train" who had been ahead of us but turned around due to a sprained knee. He was headed for that parking lot, where three girls from Virginia were going to meet him and take him home. I'd seen two people bail out in two days. The Smokies can be cruel. After Rocky Top was just plain miserable. I was exhausted and my legs were starting to hurt. By the time I got to Derrick Knob shelter, I had a new injury - a pulled groin. I hoped it was just sore and would heal over night. We again built a fire, had dinner, and went to bed.

Which brings us to today.

We woke up early, at 6:00, planning a 14 mile day over Clingman's Dome, the tallest mountain on the trail at 6,800 feet. By 7:00 we left the shelter. By 7:01 I had tears running down my face from the pain in my groin. Juniper asked me if I was OK. "I'm fine", I said, "just keep going." Then the coughing started. For the past two days I had been coughing and blowing my nose more than was regular. I also felt a pain in my chest, but hoped that I hadn't caught my Dad's chest cold. Now, it seemed, I had. After less than half a mile, we came to a side trail, which also led to a parking lot and civilization beyond. It was 8.3 miles. Boogie assured me that there would be a ranger station and/or a payphone. Juniper told me I was in no condition to go on. Salamander told me to send his crocs to him in Hot Springs. It didn't look like I had a choice. I was bailing out. Again. I really didn't want to go. Tears of sorrow from leaving behind the fellowship joined my tears of pain. At least the 8 mile side trail was all down hill, which hurt much less than uphill or even flat. "The fellowship goes North" I told them, and we all said goodbye. I set off on my own.

My feelings on the way down were strange and new. From the moment I set foot on the side trail, I became positive that I was going home for good once I got out. This was it, the final set-back, the straw that broke the camels back. I had had enough. But it wasn't the same feeling of wanting to go home that I had suffered through over the past two months. It was a more logical and less irrational feeling. I was having fun on the trail, and didn't want to leave, but for some reason I felt like it was the only thing left to do. I had just bailed out too many times. I started getting angry that I had to leave, and yelling. Then I started to get depressed about it, but eventually, despite a cliff-bar with peanut butter and 2 EmergenC packets, exhaustion took over. I wasn't depressed, or angry, or happy. I was just tired. My snack-bag fell out of my pack and tumbled down a 100 ft. ravine. "Fuck" I thought quitely to myself, and then continued on, not caring. My entire pack could have fallen and my reaction would have been the same. My legs could have fallen off, and I would have just started crawling. I reached the state of tiredness where I didn't give a shit anymore. This would have worried me, had I been able to worry, because I knew that the next stage of tiredness was break down. That would come about a half mile later. My water bottle fell out of the same pocket, and tumbled down the ravine. I stopped. This water bottle had been everywhere with me: Mount Washinton, Katahdin, Italy. It had a love note from Margaret written on the lid that cheered me up a bit every time I saw it. It had been MY nalgene for the past 5 years. I had to get it! FUCK! I threw my pack down on the ground, and sat down. I screamed profanities at the sky. I am a radical atheist (atheist, not agnostic), and I started to doubt my faith. I started to believe in God, and ask him to help me. Then I started to ask out loud, "Please god please help me! I need help please god!" I didn't know what he would do -- a troop of search & rescue trainees would have been best but I would have settled for a day hiker or two. I was still 6 miles away from the parking lot, and most day hikers don't do 12 mile hikes to random spots in the middle of the woods. They hike up to peaks with views, or waterfalls. Then I thought to myself, "God only helps those who help themselves." I think Boogie slipped something in my oatmeal, but anyways, I had to help myself. I had to get my water bottle. And so I grasped my hiking poles and took the first step down the ravine. I slipped, and slid about 3 feet, just managing to stop myself. "Screw this." I said, and hiked back up to flat ground. I put my pack back on and continued on. At that same point I lost my boot off the back of my pack, though I didn't notice it at the time.

After about 4 miles, I met some trail maintainers who said they would give me a ride if I was still there that evening when they came down. I told them about my water bottle and snacks. I wonder if they got them. Nearer the bottom, I met two day hikes who also offered a ride. I thanked them and continued on. At the parking lot I lay out my sleeping pad and read until the day hikers came back down, proudly bearing my lost boot. "The Ride's free," they told me, "but we charge for the boot!" I thanked them profusely and got in the jump seat of their pickup. Barry and Charlie. We dropped Barry off at his truck, and then on the way to Gaitlinburg I learned that Charlie was headed to Atlanta tomorrow. I got his number thinking I would hitch a ride. It's a lot easier to get to Western Massachusetts from Atlanta than it is from Gaitlinburg TN.

In Gaitlinburg I checked into the Grand Prix motel, which is decent and cheap. They are very hiker friendly. I showered, took a nap, and spoke with my mom. I told her about my feelings about coming home. They still hadn't changed much. She suggested I rule out the option of going to Atlanta. I should just sit tight and heal, then make a decision, as usual. I agreed, and so that is what I am doing. I went to the outfitter - the Happy Hiker - and asked about a job, since I may be "healing" for a few days. They told me to come back in the morning and speak with the owner, then recommmended a good Italian place for me to eat. It wasn't that good, and I've got half of my lasagna leftover for later. Now it's off to bed. Tomorrow I'll write more about my feelings. They're still sort of cloudy.

You do not conquer mountains. They let you climb them (or don't).

Report from Mr Happy's Pappy

2007-03-07T08:18:00.000-05:00

Even though I have a trail name "Fly By", after this past weekend at least a few hikers have begun calling me Mr Happy's Pappy. It was so great to share the experience with Mr Happy getting back on the trail. The wonderful folks at the Hike Inn - Jeff and Nancy, were so pleased to see him and welcome him back. I had hoped to hike a few days with him but after the weather delays and not feeling so good with a lingering chest cold, I opted to just day hike with him to the summit of Shuckstack about four miles up from Fontana. The day could not have been better - crisp and cool but with a warming sun and very little wind. We set off about nine and took our time with several rest stops. Mr Happy was carrying about 40 pounds - enough food for the whole of the Smokies as he was thinking of not getting off to go into Gatlinurg but continuing on to Standing Bear. He was so pleased to kwow there were other hikers at the same place and more in front and more behind. His time off got him what he wanted - company and less frigid nights. We talked a lot as we hiked up Shuckstack and I have to say it was one of the most wonderful conversations I've had with this particular son of mine. Amongst other things we talked about how the trail shows you your "demons" as you hike in thoughts and feelings, and how you can't fight them but you also don't have to let them guide your actions. Mr Happy seems to have this awareness and I was impressed. It took me the best part of fifty years to really grasp that. On the way up we ran into Stick going southbound. He was hiking with Walrus who had hurt his ankkle earlier on but it was bothering him and he didn't want to go thru the Smokies with the ice with his ankle. They were going planning to get off at Fontana and shuttle around the Smokies.

We climbed the tower on top of Shuckstack and then had lunch. Mr Happy makes the best PBJ tortillas. After lunch as we hiked down the side trail from the tower we spotted Walrus. Had a great conversation and when he found out we were Australian Americans, he delved into his sack to give Mr Happy a jar of Vegeminte which Mr Happy loves. A little while after Walrus left we were joined by Juniper, Salamander, and Backyard Boogie who had started an hour or so behind us. I figured it was time for me to head back and so bid my farewells to Mr Happy and good wishes to all. Mr Happy planned to hike with the trio to Mollies Ridge Shelter where they planned to spend the night.

On my way down I hiked with Walrus and also met a couple of ladies from Maine (can't recall their trail names) who were section hiking, as well as a couple of guys from the ATC who had come to help Walrus get to the hostel.

I spent the night in Knoxville and the flew home the following day with a lot of my flight covering the trail that Mr Happy will see in the next few months. All I can say is Virginia is a hell of a big state even from the air.

When I got home there was a voice mail from Mr Happy to say he had a great night at Mollies Ridge - wasn't cold and in good company and good spirits.

Thanks to everyone who supported him in taking his time out and in helping him get back on the trail. He still knows it won't be easy but is now more prepared for the challenges and is relishing the great support that exists among the thru hiker community.

Heading Back

2007-03-07T08:15:00.000-05:00

My Dad and I left Saturday in his plane to get me back on the trail. We flew from Great Barrington to Raleigh-Durham to pick up Domino (AT05) but decided to stay the night as the weather in Knoxvile was really ugly - winds and severe turbulence over the smokies. Next day we set off again - unfortunately without Domino (long story) - and made it to Knoxville in time to rent a car and drive to Fontana. What a road - 300 or more hairpin bends in less than 50 miles - but really beautiful. We were greeted by Jeff and Nancy and immediately introduced to Juniper, Backyard Boogie, and Salamander - who were also staying there that night. We went to dinner with them in Robbinsville. It was great to know I was not going to be alone this time at the start of the Smokies.

Forty-Eight Hours Left at Home

2007-03-01T16:24:00.000-05:00

Last week I went back to my old High School again, this time to go rock climbing with some of my old chums and my Biology teacher. I ended up on belay duty all day but it was still fun -- beautiful day too. The short hike out the cliffs felt great!

Then earlier this week I went to EMS with my Dad, Fly By Mike, to get him all suited up for a week in the Smokies. I got a few items -- a down vest, a new headlamp, and a belt strap for my nalgene, among other things. We also got a bunch of Mountain House meals on sale, which will be tasty. We had been planning on leaving today and starting to hike tomorrow, but we couldn't fly due to weather (I was slightly miffed but there was nothing to do about it). We're leaving on Saturday now, and Dad and Domino will only hike with me for the first day. I've already packed up my pack with food for two people for 4 days, so I've got enough to get myself all the way to Standing Bear Farm without stopping in Gaitlinburg if I so choose. I guess we'll see how I feel.

I'm starting to get anxious. My pack is sitting in the corner of my room, all loaded up, beckoning me. "Let's go Happy. We've still got 2,000 miles to walk. What are you doing sitting you your ass?!"

In other news, I saw a nutritionist. I apparently react poorly to carbohydrates, specifically processed ones. It will be difficult to change my diet much on the trail, but I'll be staying away from really bad stuff like little debbies. I'm also allergic to hops, which means no beer for me. I guess I'm safe from a freshmen-15 next year, though after being emaciated on my thru-hike I'll probably need an extra 15 pounds.

As much as I want to go back, the more I think about it the more I realize I made the right decision. Actually, the right decision would have been to just start in mid-late february, not January, but hey, that's okay. Coming home now I've been able to completely reanalyze my gear list based on my experience, come to terms with my personal goals and my reasons for doing this, and also get a little work in to make up for all of those nights in hotels.

In about 48 hours I'll be in Robinsville eating a last supper before heading back into the wild. I can't wait.

P.S. I'm working on uploading more pictures, but the internet is very sketchy. I'll post again if I get it to work before leaving.

A Guide for the Casual Goldilocks

2007-02-19T14:44:00.000-05:00

Some of you may be interested to read my latest article at my website, Overdue Karma. The topic is "How to Kill a Bear".

Notice: I love bears. This article is a humor piece. Don't actually kill bears; That's cruel and dangerous.

High School

2007-02-18T09:43:00.000-05:00

One of the nuisances about being home in the MIDDLE of an AT Hike is explaining it to people. Most of my family and close friends have been following my journal, and so they knew to expect me back, and actually welcomed me. But last night I went to visit my old highschool to see their winter play. There were three levels of response. Friends would mock me, "Oh, did poor little Joshy get cold and decide to come home?". They were just joking, and hey, that's what friends are for. Then there were the people who knew I was supposed to be hiking, but didn't know I'd come home. They would look at me, say "hi", then a second later do a double take, look back at me and say "what are you doing here?" I'd have to explain the whole thing. I probably explained it about 20 times last night. Of course, the final level was the people who barely knew me and would ask questions such as "Which college are you at?" Answering all of the questions of people back here is akward, and while I don't mind what they think or care much about their opinions (it's my hike), it does get annoying at times. I really can't wait to go back to the trail! March 2nd can't come quickly enough! The good news is, I'm managing to work and make some money, to make up for all those nights in hotels and hostels in Georgia.

Finally some Photos

2007-02-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

I've finally managed to post some photos. For now I'm just expirementing with Flickr. If I like it, I'll post more photos. This album is just a few shots from the trail between Neels Gap and Franklin, NC (the first time I went there).

Photos

February Fury

2007-02-16T16:59:00.001-05:00

Typical of me, I come north to escape the cold... should have gone to Florida. We've got over 20 inches of the beautiful fluffy stuff up here in the Berkshires. It was fun to look at this morning, but as the day passed I realized why kids enjoy snow so much more than adults. For them, it means no school, snowball fights, sledding, skiing, and hot chocolate. For me it meant shoveling for almost four hours. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. After a month of walking, it was good to give my arms some exercise. Shoveling, for me, is almost a zen activity, similar to hiking, mowing the lawn, painting, and other repetitive tasks. It occupies your body completely, but requires little attention from your mind, and thus has a meditative effect. Also, I got lunch at an all-you-can-eat indian buffet -- one of my favorite restaurants -- something I've been craving since leaving for the trail.
Most of the blister scars on my feet have healed and they look healthy, clean and normal: a sure sign that I need to get back to the trail as soon as possible. I'm going to try to get back as soon as I can. I miss it so much already after only 3 days home. I could even handle ramen again. This weekend I will try to take a day off and do a long day hike, and next week I may squeeze in an overnight, but there is a lot of work to be done.

Happy Trails from Mr. Happy

Franklin to Fontana

2007-02-12T11:13:00.000-05:00

Every rock, stream, tree, switchback, cave, peak and valley has a story -- and Ron Haven knows that story. As we rode in his pickup - three large men crammed on the bench seat - he told us about his home town (Franklin, NC) and the mountains around it. He was full to the brim with stories. The pickup struggled up the steep grades of Wayah Bald while Ron told us about Robert Rudolf, the abortion clinic bomber who had lived in a cave (which he pointed out to us) for five years, evading the police. After many such stories, we crested the peak and came to the parking lot, where I had been rescued a week earlier. I saw the white blaze on the side of the dumpster, which would be my starting point for the day. I said goodbye to Ron, thanking him profusely for all of his help, and then to Zero, urging him to haul ass and catch up to me, since hanging with him is a blast. Pack on again for the first time in a week, I began the march. It was a crisp day, the calm air hovering around 20 degrees, and not a cloud to be seen. After a few hundred yards I came to the Wayah Bald obersvation tower, dropped my pack, and climbed up for the views. At the top were profile drawings of the view, with each peak labeled. I could look back past Mount Albert, Standing Indian Mountain, and even Tray Mountain, with Georgia on the horizon. I had walked from the horizon. It had been a long way. Turning around, I had much farther to go ahead of me. The mountains that stretched out to this horizon were larger, fiercer, snow-capped mountains that could not be mistaken for hills the way the humps and bumps of Georgia could. First, the Nantahalas, then finally into the Smokies. The finally peak in the distance was Clingmans Dome, the 6,760 foot peak that marked the highest point on the trail. It was supposedly covered in ice and snow, but I was too far away to tell. It sat on the horizon, daring me to reach it. Time to walk.
I ambled up and down moderate mountains for 11.5 miles, finally over Wesser Bald and down to the Wesser Bald shelter 1 mile below the summit. I set up my tent inside the shelter, for extra warmth.
What did I imagine a night on the AT would be like? My vision entailed a bunch of hikers laying in their warm sleeping bags, underneath the stars, with gentle breeze on their faces as they told stories about stupid weekend warriors who got eaten by bears, or such things. Maybe someone built a campfire, adding to the atmosphere. We were content to be laying down, with sore legs and stomachs filled with hot meals.
The reality was a little different.
I’m shivering inside my sleeping bag, with the tent-wall of my nylon prison glazed with ice, just a few inches from my face. I have run out of fuel and spilled half of my dinner because my hands were too numb. My only chance for human contact -- my cell phone -- doesn’t receive signal at the shelter. I try to journal write for a little while, but my pen is frozen. I try to read, but eventually my arms are forced back into the sleeping bag by the icy blasts of gale force winds. I understand a new meaning for the phrase “Misery loves company”. Not able to sleep, I take some Melatonin and Tylenol PM, then get up to relieve myself one last time. I have a “pee bottle” in my sleeping bag, but need to save it for the middle of the night. I climb up the ridge a ways -- my down booties not enjoying the several feet of snow -- and take care of business. My cell phone works up here, so I call home and Margaret to say goodnight. I can’t talk for long -- it’s far too cold -- and I run back into the “warmth” of my cocoon. I pull one final ace out of my sleeve: a heat warmer packet, which I open and place between my legs, where it can warm the blood going to both my feet and my core. I drift off, dreaming about the views I have enjoyed: the snow on the ground with week old foot prints, which my feet follow, one foot in front of the other, seemingly forever.
The next day is supposed to be an “easy” 5 miles. Instead, I find myself hiking from 8 AM to noon, descending from 5000 feet to a mere 1700 feet. My lungs are happy, but my knees are ready to kill me as I clamber over the steepest downhill in the south. Finally, I reach the NOC, where I can expect a hot meal, shower, and bed, not to mention real toilets. What I discover is that $17 does not buy you very much at the NOC. The bunkhouse is abysmal and cold, there is not a pillow or comfortable seat to be found, just benches and picnic tables, though there is a kitchen there are no pots and pans, and technology, well forget about it. No TV or internet to be found here folks. To future hikers, my recommendation is that you not stay at the NOC. Spend the money on a meal at the restaurant, then hike on to the next shelter. I spent the night, and woke up without the least bit of desire to hike some more.
Today would be the single most challenging hike I had ever faced. I didn’t know that yet. Within the first hour, I fell flat on my face 3 times. I was on my way up to Swim Bald, going from 1700 feet to 4700 feet in 3 miles. Once near the top, I met Early Bird, as my Dad has already chronicled. The top of Swim Bald offered no views or reward for the tremendous struggle. The day before, I asked an NOC employee about the terrain ahead. “I wouldn’t want to hike it.” he said. After that, it was back down to 4000 feet, into Sassaffras Gap, and then right back up to 5000 feet, to Ceoah Bald, and finally BACK down to 2000 feet into Stecoah Gap (with a feww 4000 foot peaks in between).
Going up Ceoah Bald, I was miserable, practically crying, and in the utter depths of depression. I stopped to evaluate myself, and concluded that something needed to change. My attempts to replace the sadness with happiness had failed, but something else might work, and so I tried anger. I yelled, shouted, grunted and thrust my hiking poles into the ground. Yelling the whole way, I charged up the final hundred yards to the summit, adrenaline pumping so hard my veins turned green. The Colts defensive line couldn’t have stopped me from reaching the summit. I sat down -- fell down actually -- and got out a cliff bar with peanut butter for lunch, then called the Hike Inn in Fontana to arrange a ride from Stecoah Gap. There was no way I was hiking an EXTRA 2.4 miles to a shelter today. A warm bed and 2.4 miles less was a much better option. And so I ate lunch, took a picture of the view (trying and failing to smile), and kept on walking. To get up each peak, I repeated my yelling and grunting ritual, and eventually I got myself so pumped up that I decided a chest-pounding was in order. I pounded my chest, or tried to, but instead wacked myself in the temple with my hiking pole. I was knocked onto the ground, pulled by the weight of my pack, and felt like a turtle on it’s back. I lay there for ten minutes, sinking deeper into depression than ever before. I was exhausted way beyond my limits. Finally, I got up, and kept hiking. I reached the final peak and had only a few miles of downhill to go to the gap. I could make it. I could see the road. The next section I do not remember quite well. I was seeing spots, exhausted, tired, and close to defeat. I remember that at one point I tripped and fell and instead of getting up, I crawled a quarter of a mile. Finally, I had only a few switchbacks left, and I could see the parking lot at the bottom, with two cars and a man and woman waiting for me. I broke out into a sprint and lept over larger rocks. One final burst before collapse.
“Hi”, I said, “I’m Mr. Happy and you cannot begin to imagine how happy I am to see you.”
The man who had been waiting was a trail maintainer and he asked me about the condition of the trail. I told him about a few blow downs that I could remember, then got in Nancy’s pickup truck to be taken to the motel. I was beat and desperately needed a day off. I could slack pack the next day (hike with just a day pack) and looking at my maps decided that an easy 16 miles with no pack would count as a day off. The hike was fun, with nothing exciting to talk about, and once again I was picked up by Nancy, this time at the Fontana Dam Visitors Center, and brought back to the Hike Inn, then into Robinsville for Mexican. After dinner, I sat in the lounge of the motel and talked to Jeff and Nancy about the Smokies. I told them that there were two guys behind me coming up in the next few days -- something I had heard from my dad.
“Well, going into the park with two people is risky. Three would be better.” Jeff said. If two was risky, why wasn’t he saying anything to me, a solo hiker, I wondered? Again, I should have taken a day off, but I was afraid of spending money. I packed up, excited about the freeze dried meals from Margaret’s family and the snacks from my Mom, and studied the maps once more. The first shelter was 10 miles in, and then there were two more within 6 miles of that. I would have plenty of options, but would try to push myself so that I could make it to Newfound Gap, and civilization, within 3 days. 40 miles in 3 days wouldn’t be hard, I told myself. The next day I was dropped off at the Dam, despite being exhuasted. I’d fueled myself up with 4 eggs, two bananas, an orange, and two yogurts, but was still feeling hungry -- and tired. After 3.5 miles I passed “shuckstack”, the first mountain, which had a fire tower. I was too tired to climb it. A sign announced that it was .8 miles to a campsite (in the Smokies one must camp in designated areas). I checked my watch, knowing that .8 miles would take me 20 minutes, 30 if I was slow. Forty five minutes later I had no sign of the campsite, and I stopped. What was wrong with me? I seemed to be going at an excruciatingly slow speed, and despite walking uphill I wasn’t warming up. I was cold, tired and hungry. The entire morning I had been thinking about going home. “I’ll decide when I get to Gaitlinburg” I told myself. That’s what it had always been... whenever I had thought about going home, I would tell myself to make it to the next town, the next road crossing, and then decide. For the first time now, on the north side of Shuckstack, a new thought occurred to me. I should turn around. I’m not in a good state to take on 40 miles of wilderness alone. I’ll get some food in me and see how I feel. I got out a candy bar, but found myself unable to concentrate enough to open it. Uh-ohh. Warning bells starting going off in my head like klaxons... You’re hypothermic you idiot. Make the right decision now before you do something stupid. No. It wasn’t cold enough. Maybe I was just tired. That was it, I decided, I was tired to the point of malfunction. I called Jeff and Nancy and told them about my situation.
“So you’re walking back now?” they asked me.
“No, I’ve stopped. I’m thinking about turning around. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well we can’t tell you what to do, but if you turn around we’ll be here for you.”
Great. I called my parents. They were busy, and said that they’d call me back. I sat down, drank some water, and ate more gorp. Finally, they called back, but by then I’d already decided I was going back, so I told them, put my phone away, and started walking back up Shuckstack. Four miles, I thought. At my normal speed, that would take 1-2 hours. Today, a little longer. Three hours later, I called Jeff and Nancy from the visitors center and was picked up. I had no idea what my next step would be.
That evening I talked about my options with everybody. I talked to my brother Chris for an hour, and that confused me more than anything. He suggested that I slow down and just do 7-10 mile days, and carry the extra food. I was pushing myself too hard, and couldn’t handle the emotional trauma while I was so physically exhausted. He had a valid point. My other option was to wait for more people to come to Fontana, and hike with them. This option was going to be expensive... at least $200, and that was assuming the weather cooperated. In the end, the best option seemed to be to spend the $250 to get home, spend two weeks at home recovering, and go back when there would be more people and warmer weather, and hike in March like a normal person (insofar as any thru-hiker can be called “Normal”). I made some calls, informed my family of my intentions, then Jeff and Nancy, and then went to bed to watch TV until 2 AM. I couldn’t sleep, no matter how many Tylenol PM I took.
And viola, one thirty hour bus ride later, and here I am.

Edit: It has been brought to my attention that my review of the NOC was a bit harsh. It was actually a great place. The restaurant was a little expensive but the food was delicious, and the people in the outfitters were very nice. I think I was just grumpy, and the NOC didn't offer much in the way of a distraction. I did get exactly what I expected, and what was advertised. My only valid complaint is that the heat didn't work very well, but that wouldn't be a problem for people coming through later in the year.

Wimp?

2007-02-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

Guess what!

I'm home, in the berkshires. I am going back to the trail in two weeks, on March 2nd. Doing the trail in winter was cold and lonely, and an amazing growth experience, but it isn't what I was looking for in this hike. Also, going into 70 miles of wilderness (the smokies) alone, with snow on the way, did not seem to be the wisest decision. It turned out that coming home to wait two weeks, as I've wanted to do for sometime, was hardly more expensive than staying for a few days. Being home will give me a chance to earn some more funding as well. When I go back there will be more people, and even if it isn't much warmer, at least I will have company, and feel as if I am part of a community instead of feeling like the only person on earth. More on that story later. I'm working on a full write up of what happened since I left Franklin, and will post that later today.

Finally: to those of you who may wish to call me a wimp. You may call me a wimp, or whatever else you want, but only once you have met certain requirements: You must have hiked 175 (or more) miles over the mountains of Georgia and North Carolina, in January and February. Also, anybody who has been on an arctic expedition may call me a wimp. The rest of you? bug off!

Here comes the Smokies

2007-02-08T22:23:00.000-05:00

Today was great. A fairly easy fifteen mile "slack pack". Staying tonight at the Hike Inn at Fontana and tomorrow head off into the Great Smokey Mountain National Park. Have a good seven days of food just to be safe and in case Rte 441 (the only road mostly open) is closed. If it's open Gatlinburg TN will be next off trail stop and hopefully by Sunday or Monday. Thanks to everyone for the re-supply and also the good wishes. I need all I can get right now as I set off tomorrow with just a little fear and trepidation. For the last 70 miles I've been looking at Clingman's Dome sticking up there snow covered on the horizon. I heard from my hosts here at the Hike Inn that about two thirds of the hikers who make it here to Fontana also quit here when they see what lies ahead. But I'm moving on. Tomorrow I'll be able to stand in NC and pee in TN as the trail follows the state line for quite a ways. TN will also be my third state of my hike so far.

A warm day on the trail at last

2007-02-07T18:29:00.000-05:00

Left NOC around 9am and made it to Stecoah Gap (13.6 miles) by 4.30pm for ride to the Hike Inn at Fontana. Pretty good time but tough hiking. Met southbound hiker "Early Bird". Conversation went something like this:

EB: Hi where are you headed?
MH: Maine. How 'bout you?
EB: Georgia.
MH: Well you are almost there.
EB: Yep. There are a couple of others going Northbound that I passed but they are way up there the other side of Hot Springs.
MH: Thanks.
EB: Well I better get going. Gotta get to Georgia.
MH: Yep. Bye!

Mr Happy plans on slack packing tomorrow. (that's hiker speak for getting a ride back to the trail to the point from whence you left it and hiking without your pack to the place from whence you spent the night where your pack will be waiting for you. Kinda - there are variations.) Maybe Mr Happy can explain it better when he reads this. Tomorrow he plans to once again spend the night at the Hike Inn in Fontana and will hike tomorrow"slack packing" some 15.5 miles. Then the SMOKIES! That's as in "mountains" just in case you were wondering.

NOC

2007-02-06T20:24:00.000-05:00

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Took care of the first one with a hamburger and a couple of eggs carried from Franklin. Not so angry now. Don't have to spend an hour getting set up to sleep and an hour in the morning to pack up again and use frost bitten fingers to light a stove which won't light cos there's no fuel. Very lonely here at NOC though. The only hiker here. Tired - yes. Legs in particular. Spent a lot of today sliding down steep grades covered with two feet of snow. It was great to go uphill for a change. Tomorrow - Stracoah Gap and a pick up from the Hike Inn at Fontana then a slack pack the next day from Stracoah to Fontana. That's the plan anyway.

On On!!

2007-02-06T08:48:00.000-05:00

Survived a cold night but learned a few things. Ran out of fuel trying to boil water - it takes a lot more fuel to boil water when the temp. is in the single digits. Spent a pretty comfortable night inside tent and inside the shelter but in the middle of the night tent collapsed and got wet from frost. This morning sleeping bag was wet, and tent and pack covered with icicles - makes for a heavier load. Heading for the NOC (Nanthala Outdoor Center - a hostel on the trail) today - only 5 miles mostly downhill. Will rest up there for the rest of today and tonight as legs are a little sore and need to dry out.

Brrrrrrrr!

2007-02-05T22:24:00.000-05:00

Mr Happy made a brief call tonight to update. It was brief because his cell phone wouldn't work if he stayed in his sleeping bag, in his tent, in the shelter, and he didn't really want to be anywhere else but in it all. He was boiling water with his jet boil to make hot water bottles for his sleeping bag. He's at Wesser Bald Shelter after an 11.5 mile afternoon hike from Wyah Bald. The temps tonight will be in the low single digits at that 4,115ft elevation. The good news is it's supposed to get much milder (dare I say warmer) over the next few days and the overnight lows will only be in the teens and maybe even in to the twenties. Send him warm thoughts.

Franklin, AGAIN

2007-02-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

I am back at the Budget Inn in Franklin. I came up yesterday with Crutch and met up with Zero (he bailed at the Kimsey Creek Trail just like I did a week ago). We're going to hang out today, watch the big game, and then in the morning I'm heading North from Wayah Bald and he's going back to Standing Indian Campground. I've got MY first deadline: I have to make it to Hot Springs by the 17th. If I leave tomorrow, thats 155 miles in 12 days. We'll see if I make it.

Cloud 9 Again

2007-01-31T13:59:00.000-05:00

I am back at Cloud 9, hanging out with Crutch. Zero was here, he left this morning. I'm going to meet up with him in Franklin and we'll have a brief "trail marriage" through the Smokies. He can't get rid of me... hope I'm not annoying. Anyways, he should get to Franklin on Saturday, so I'm doing work-for-stay here until then, and then I will have to hike 10 miles over again from Winding Stair Gap to Wayah Bald, but it was a beautiful 10 miles so no complaints.

Crutch thinks I should change my trail name to "Boomerang" because no matter how hard you throw me, I always come back. I'll leave it up to you, my loyal readers. Vote with your comments.

In response to Patrick's question about the "rules". There are no rules, but everybody sets some rules for myself. My personal goal is to walk past every single white blaze, in order, walking north. I can "slack pack" (walk a section without my pack) but I have to start where I left of, or farther back. I can't jump ahead and hike south for a section, or anything like that. So far I've stuck with my rules, but it's a long trip and anything cna happen. Ultimately, it's about doing whatever it takes to get to Maine.

I did some research into exactly how cold it was on Sunday night. In Franklin and the surrounding towns, it was between 0 and 10 degrees F all night, with 30-40 mph winds and 60-70 mph gusts. Up on the mountains it is usually 10-15 degrees colder, so It was probably around -10. I was expecting 20 degree nights with temperatures occasionally dropping to the low teens, so this was way beyond what I was prepared for. I'm happy with my decision to bail for the time being, and now I get to hike with Zero, which is great.

So what I've been up to: Yesterday I got picked up by Laura (owner of Cloud 9) and Crutch. I ate all of crutch's food while he played chess with Zero, then Crutch Laura and I went out for chineese food (Zero was anti-social). We came back, and went over to Laura's for delicious homemade ice cream that we had picked up on the way back from Franklin. Laura bought 16 quarts of it! Zero came this time. Then we three hikers went back to cloud 9 for a game of Scrabble. I won, easily, but Zero had never played before. This morning Zero left. He took my tent so that he could be a little warmer for the freezing rain and snow that's supposed to come tomorrow. I had breakfast, then an hour later I had lunch. I did my work for stay duty, moving piles of logs from the forest down to the fire pit. Tomorrow Crutch and I will split it all. My hiker appettite has hit big time. Yesterday I had:

Breakfast around 9 AM: 2 Bacon Egg and Cheese biscuits at Hardees
Lunch around Noon: Bacon Cheeseburger at Hardees
Snacks at Cloud 9 between 3 and 5PM: 4 scrambled eggs with cheese, bagel with cream cheese, PB & J sandwhich.
Dinner at 5:30PM: 3 courses of Chineese food
Icecream back at cloud 9.

I went to bed hungry.

Waiting out the Weather

2007-01-30T12:26:00.000-05:00

Sunday night was fucking cold. I'm sorry about the language -- i'm trying to keep this journal clean -- but there is just no other way to describe how cold it was. My thermometer read 0 degrees F at 9PM, and it got town to -10 at some point in the night. A water bottle that I had in my sleeping bag with me was FROZEN SOLID in the morning. Needless to say, it was a rough night and I didn't sleep at all. In the morning, I walked about 6 miles trying to warm up, but couldn't get my core temperature up. I also couldn't melt the ice in my water bottles. I called Ron Haven from Franklin -- he is an absolutely awesome guy who will do anythign he can to help out hikers -- and he brought me back to his hotel where I'd stayed last time I was in town (uh, saturday night). He'd even told me not to go out, it would be to cold, but typical me, I didn't listen. If you're reading this Ronnie, I just want to say thank you again. You've been a life saver for me this past week.

It doesn't look like it's going to warm up until the weekend, and even then a cold spell might hit again. I've called Cloud 9 in Hiawassee and they are coming to pick me up so I can wait out the weather there, with Crutch and Zero (he's holed up there). I have to say, the people I've met along the trail so far have been the most generous and amazing people anywhere. It seems an entire community has sprung up along the trail, dedicated to helping thru-hikers finish.

I'll be in Hiawassee, and I will post before I leave and head out again.

Quote of the day: "Hiking is just walking where it's OK to pee." -- From Demitri Martin's "Person."

Thanks for the Comments

2007-01-28T11:17:00.000-05:00

Before I head out again in a few minutes, I just wanted to thank everybody who has left comments on my blog. It's a great motivation for me and I really cherish and enjoy reading them. Thank you all for reading along and following my journey.

Back In Franklin, Found my Mojo

2007-01-27T16:35:00.000-05:00

I've got my momentum back. 11.3 miles yesterday and 16 or 17 miles today, into winding stair gap, where I hitched a ride into Franklin. I've ordered a Pizza and after devouring it I'm going to walk over and get groceries, then head back out tomorrow morning. I should be nearing the Smokies next weekend. Also, today I passed the 100 mile marker!! I climbed Albert Mountain, my second 5000 footer (first was Standing Indian mountain yesterday) and it was a hell of a climb but worth it for a hell of a view. I spent the night at Carter Gap last night with 9 "weekenders" from northern Georgia. They'd built a fire and provided entertainment throughout the night. This morning I passed 6 day hikers (3 couples). I guess it gets crowded out here on the weekends when the weather is nice.

I bought a little FM radio, and while I feel guilty about the extra gadget, I love the thing already. Today I listned to a lot of classical music (Bach and co.) and then som classic music (The Beatles, etc.)

Also, I've been hiking at a speed of 3-3.5 mph today, which is BLAZING.

Mr. Happy is happy, after a day of sunny views and good walking with some (though not much) company. In fact, I'd say today was my best day on the trail so far. I'm actually excited to get back out there tomorrow (though my legs do not share my enthusiasm. Ibuprofen may be in order).

Happy Trails,

Mr. Happy

Warmer weather

2007-01-26T16:38:00.000-05:00

Today the temps rose and Mr Happy went back to the trail again after a night in Franklin. He was shuttled back to where he got off yesterday and hiked the 3.7 mile blue blazed Kinsey Creek Trail back to the AT at Deep Gap. Hopefully he then took a left turn (northbound). Wouldn't it suck if he took a wrong turn there and started heading back towards GA? Tonight he plans to stay at Carter Gap Shelter (not bad digs from the look of the picture). We are aware that many folks reading this journal probably don't know a lot about the life of a thru-hiker. If you have any questions you would like to ask Mr Happy post them in "comments" from the link below. For example we heard that last night there was a lively discussion among some of Mr Happy's friends about how many pairs of underpants were in his pack and did he carry a little shovel for digging that all important "cat hole"? When Mr Happy gets to Carter Gap he will be 90.7 miles from where he started at Springer mountain. Today he he will have hiked 11.3 miles for the day.

Tomorrow or the next day he hopes to reach Winding Stair Gap (where the trail crosses Rte 64 on the map above.)

Franklin #1

2007-01-25T15:36:00.000-05:00

Well, this morning Hikernutt was really cold and she didn't sleep much, so she decided to drop out at Deep gap. She called Ron Haven who runs several hotels in Franklin, and arranged to be picked up. I had a lot of momentum and wanted to keep going, but in the end decided that a below zero (that was the forecast) night in a fifteen degree bag was probably not the best idea alone, so I'm at the "Sapphire Inn" in franklin. It's not too expensive so I may stay for the weekend and do some slackpacking, and let Zero catch up.

At Cloud 9 yesterday, my hiker appettite hit. I went to an all you can eat Mongolian grill and put away two heaping plates of egg noodles, rice, veggies, and meat. About an hour later I had a snack: a bag of fritos and an entire thing of cheese dip. An hour after that it was dinner -- a hamburger, salad, more veggies. I was still hungry when I went to bed. I'm going to eat at an all you can eat steak house this afternoon :-D

Thanks for all of the comments and donations everybody. It really helps to know that there are so many people rooting for me. This is defenitely the most difficult thing I have ever done (or tried to do), and the help is greatly appreciated. The donations go a long way too. Thank you all so much!

Happy Trails,

Mr Happy

Hello North Carolina

2007-01-24T20:06:00.000-05:00

This afternoon Mr Happy crossed the GA-NC state line. One state done! Tonight he's at the Muskrat Creek Shelter with Hikernutt. Cold weather on the way may test the limits of his 10 degree bag as its forecast to be only 6 degrees tomorrow night.

Cloud 9

2007-01-23T18:05:00.000-05:00

I'm at cloud9 outside of Hiawassee. It's a great little hostel here. If all goes well I'll head out tomorrow, but I've learned not to make any concrete plans out here since anything can happen. I've been well fed and went into town to get some different food for the next section of trail. Going to get in the hot tub after dinner.

Good night,

Mr. Happy

Thanks

2007-01-22T18:07:00.000-05:00

Was still early when Mr. Happy arrived at his planned stop at Tray Mtn so he pushed on to the next shelter at Deep Gap. Said he feels a bit tired sore and a little bit cold but not too much. He's feeling a lot better today after being sick yesterday. Wanted me to be sure to say special thanks to Cornbread, Felicity, and Winton at WalasiYi and also to Zero (who he calls "my psychiatrist hiker buddy") for helping to get him back on the trail.

Back on the Trail

2007-01-22T10:47:00.000-05:00

MrHappy spent a comfortable night at Walasi-Yi hostel last night watching the Patriots lose and is being shuttled back to the trail head at Unicoi Gap today to continue his journey. He has been embraced by the hiking community in N. Georgia and is most grateful for all the support and encouragement from everyone. He said the folks at the hostel are fabulous and he needs to spend more time in places like that and less time alone in hotels when he's feeling down. They fed him some Chili which he never ate at home but said it was "the best meal he's had in days". He also met up with Zero again and is planning to slow down a bit over the next several days to let him catch him. This morning he said he still has negative thoughts but is not letting them stop him getting back on the trail.

Nevermind

2007-01-21T11:44:00.000-05:00

Well I'm feeling pretty sick again. My good spirits this morning will short lived. I threw up and feel dizzy when I stand. I've called the fine folks at the Walasi Yi center and I'm going to spend a day or more recuperating there, or possibly come home, who knows how long for. I knew this would be hard but I think I've lost sight of my motives and it's difficult to keep going when I'm physically ill and miserable 90% of the time.

6 Miles

2007-01-21T09:51:00.000-05:00

Well I'm heading out with 6 miles to go (after 9 miles of hitch hiking that is) and I've got a blister on my toe the size of Texas. I'll send pictures with the next memory card (the first one is on the way home, so you can all see some pictures soon).

Happy Trails from Mr. Happy

Feeling Better

2007-01-20T20:03:00.000-05:00

I spent the morning in bed with a hot cup of tea, then finally found my appettite this afternoon and devoured 2 Wendy's Super-Sized meals in a matter of minutes. Tomorrow will be an easy half day (6 miles) to a shelter, then 10 miles on Sunday into Dicks Creek Gap at Hiawassee, where I'll spend the night (but not take a zero day). I've already suffered through so much of the transition, giving up now would be distasteful.

Also, I didn't mention it in my last post, but Cornbread who does the pack shake-downs at Walasi Yi said that I "look like an avid hiker who knows what he's doing". I just need to take it easier on myself. I'm physically capable of a 20 mile day, but it destroys me for the next day, so even if I can keep going near the end of the day, I have to force myself to stop, thinking ahead to the challenges I will face down the road.

Thanks for the support to everybody I talked to today. I'll post again in two days from Hiawassee!

Spirits Low, Feeling Sick

2007-01-20T07:50:00.000-05:00

I made it the 20.1 miles yesterday, and came into Unicoi Gap around 7:30. At 8:30 I finally got a ride into Helen... I thought I was going to Hiawassee, so I checked into the only accomadation available -- a Best Western, which was pricer than I'd have liked.

Last night I was too tired to walk into town for food, so I tried calling for Pizza. Even Domino's wouldn't deliver to Helen, nor would the other three places I called. I almost cried when I couldn't get dinner, so I just went to bed. This morning I woke up at about 4, and couldn't fall asleep again. I feel sick -- fever, sore throught, cotton mouth, massive pounding headache, nasuea; You name the symptom, I've got it. I think I need another zero day. I'll try to "Yogi" an extra night out of the receptionist. If not, I'll try calling the various hostels in Hiawassee and see if I can't hitch a ride there. For the first time I'm really thinking about just going home. This really is a very possible feat to accomplish, but not alone this time of year. I nearly killed myself hiking into town last night because I didn't want to spend the night in the woods alone. I know I'll have to at some point if I keep going, but I when it's 20 degree's and I'm exhausted and sick, and there's no hope of seeing ANYBODY at a shelter for the next few weeks, it become a much less appealing scenario. I'm so hungry, but too sick to eat. I had a bit of cheese last night, but felt sick after a few bites. There's an all you can eat continental breakfast here in the lobby. I managed to get some yogurt and OJ down but that's about all I can handle.

The section of trail I hiked yesterday was very pretty, walking along ridgelines with views of Blue Mountain all day, which I finally climbed at about 6:30. At that point I would have stayed at the Blue Mountain Shelter, but the water source was .5 miles away (1 m round trip), and town was only 1.4 miles. I also felt too exhausted to properly set myself up for the night, which would have led to me waking up hypothermic and dehydrated again, which is not a desirable situation. On the mountain all I wanted was a Friendly's Hamburger, but by the time I got to the road and sat there for an hour waiting for a ride, I just wanted a warm bed.

Mountain Crossings/Wilasi-Yi Center at Neel's Gap was a great place run by great folks, but it is out in the middle of nowhere so they didn't offer much in the way of the comfort I was craving (a real bed and some real food).

I also think I've lost my map for Georgia and North Carolina, along with my guidebook. I'm going to explore all of my options and hopefully figure out what I'm doing by 11:00 (check out time).

G'day,

Mr. Not So Happy.

20 Mile Day

2007-01-19T17:32:00.000-05:00

Mr Happy will attempt 20 miles today. When we spoke around lunchtime he had already done 13 for the day and was making for Unicoi Gap. When he gets there he will be at the 50.5 mile mark. He took a zero day at the hostel at Neels Gap yesterday and did some odd jobs in return for accommodation. They had little in the way of food available but Mr Happy picked up his re-supply that he had mailed and sent some stuff home. His pack now weighs 34 lb which is very light with winter gear included. He felt strong hiking this morning after his rest day and was also enjoying the beauty of the Georgia mountains on a sunny clear day.

He's decided that his thru hike will probably not change him much but that he will learn a lot of things he can use in life. He's finding that deprivation is teaching him to appreciate more, that pain is showing him joy, and that suffering is teaching him to appreciate inner peace and solitude. He said some people say you learn determination and perserverance from tackling a thru hike but he disagrees. He says you have to have those qualities to begin with or you would drop out soon after you started.

Trail legs are coming...

2007-01-17T19:48:00.000-05:00

Signor Felice (Mr Happy) made it to Neels Gap today after a 16.1 mile day. He is sore and tired but happy he made it. He plans to take his first zero day tomorrow figuring he earned it with a big day today.

The reality of the trail has hit...

2007-01-17T11:08:00.000-05:00

Mr Happy was huffing and puffing his way to the top of Big Cedar Mountain (3,737 ft) this morning. He spend a cold night at Gooch Mountain Shelter last night (again accompanied by Zero) after completing another 7.6 mile day yesterday. He arrived at Gooch Mountain around noon but elected to stay there rather than push on. He prefers to stay in shelters than to tent and so is planning his days accordingly. Today he hopes he might be able to make it to Neels Gap where he can spend a night in the Walasi-Yi hostel which is right on the trail but that will mean a 16.1 mile day today to make it there. If he doesn't get that far he may stop at the Woods Hole Shelter which will make today a 12.4 mile day. Either way he plans to make use of a real bed, a real toilet, and some real food when he gets to Neels Gap. I guess those of us who have never attempted a long distance hike don't fully understand what the reality of it is - being tired, eating relatively unappealing food, pooping in the woods, sleeping on hard shelter floors with mice crawling over you, and being very alone most of the time. If you read this leave a comment of support and I'll pass it on to Mr Happy when we next touch base.

21 miles down -2,154 to go.

First day on the Trail

2007-01-16T09:37:00.000-05:00

Well Mr Happy spent his first day and night on the AT. Yesterday he completed the first 7.6 miles and spent the night at Hawk Mountain Shelter. When I talked to him this morning he was in good spirits and looking forward to another day on the trail. Another hiker named Zero was also at this shelter last night and they will probably be shelter buddies for the next two or three nights given the space between shelters. If Mr Happy continues to learn at the rate he did yesterday he'll be a wiz by the time he finishes. Picture above is his first step on the AT (thanks Tom for the photo).

Here is what Mr Happy learned yesterday.

1. A mile on the AT is further than you think.

2. 7.6 miles is a LOT further than you think.

3. Don't whittle while walking

4. Keep your Iodine away from the stuff you mix into your water after or you end up with salt

5. A waterproof wallet has to be waterproof in order to work

7. Bring wet wipes for that after the event hand wiping ritual

8. All the mice from Maine, NH, Mass, and VT are taking winter vacation in Georgia and party every night with the local mice.

2,167 miles to go and still walking!

D-Day

2007-01-15T08:02:00.000-05:00

It's today. I'm starting the Appalachian Trail. I've been waiting for this for over a decade, and the day is finally here. It seems unreal.

I thought I'd make one last post before leaving society behind. In about 10 minutes Tom and Margaret will drive out USFS 42 with me, hike up the Benton Mckay Trail to the summit of Springer, and then I'll start walking north. I plan to walk about 10 miles of white blazes (plus the two mile approach trail) today, camping out between two shelters.

A special thanks to the Clarks who have been so supporting on this end, getting me to the trail and showing me a great time for my last few days in civilization. Also, I just have to say, the Hiker Hostel in Dahlonega is an amazing place run by great people (Josh & Leigh). Also, at the Hostel, I met the legendary Minnesotta Smith, who completed his thru-hike last year in 9 months.

I'll post again in four or five days from the Walasi-Yi Center at Neels Gap.

Happy Trails!

Dahlonega

2007-01-14T18:03:00.000-05:00

I'm in Dahlonega Georgia at the Hiker Hostel. I set out tomorrow morning. I'll have 2.2 miles to hike on the approach trail, and then see how far I can make it along the trail. There are shelters at miles 7 and 15, so my plan to do 10 miles is shot. If I'm feeling good, I guess I'll shoot for 15.

Also, if you're reading this, please leave a comment to let me know. It's great to hear from whoever is reading.

Thanks!

Mr. Happy

Setting Off

2007-01-13T11:29:00.000-05:00

I'm in Mississippi at my girlfriend Margaret's house. In just a few hours we're heading out for Georgia. We're not sure exactly what the plan is, but I'll start walking on Monday morning. I'll be updating mostly through my Dad from now on, so,

Ciao!

Sponsorship Options

2007-01-13T11:21:00.000-05:00

There are many ways in which you can sponsor me, and gifts of any size are appreciated. Here's what your money buys:

$1 - One Mile. Sponsor a single mile of trail, or a section ($1/mile). I'll send you a postcard from your section. $1 also buys: 10 packets of Ramen OR 2 Snickers

$10 - Ten Dollars gets me 100 packets of Ramen or a hamburger in town.

$15 - Fifteen Dollars gets me a night in a hostel.

$40 - Forty Dollars will buy me a night in a hotel, with a real bed and bathroom.

$100 - One hundred big ones will buy me a plane ticket home when I realize how freakin' crazy this whole thing is. It could also buy me 1000 Ramen Noodle packets.

To make a donation/sponsorship, please click on the "Make a Donation" button on the right hand side of the page. I'll mention you on my site and you'll have my greatest gratitude. Also, for larger amounts it may be better if you just send a check, since paypal takes a 10% cut.

Sponsor a State: You can sponsor a state for the number of miles in that state. Some states will be split up into sections (like virgina which is 800 something miles). I don't know how many miles there are in each state since I only have a section of the guidebook with me, but I'll ask Fly-By Mike to post that. Off the top of my head, the states are:

$80 - Georgia
$89 - Massachussets

Also, if I drop out or am killed/injured before reaching your state, you'll get a 100% refund. If I make it, I'll send you a picture from your state, along with sincerest gratitude.

Thanks,

Mr. Happy/Signor Felice

50/50 Raffle for Finish Date

2007-01-09T15:19:00.000-05:00

Now you can bet on which day I will finish the Appallachian Trail! I've been working all year saving up money, and I'm applying for a loan, but in order to raise some funds (and have some fun), I'm having a 50/50 raffle. For $5 you can buy a ticket and choose a day. The closest day (without going over) wins half of the pool, and the other half goes towards supporting me on my hike. Here's some information to help you bet:

First, the rule is "closest without going over", so if you bet June 30th and I finish on June 29th, you don't win, but if I finish on July 1st (and nobody else bet on July 1st) then you do win.

But when am I planning to finish?

I'm hiking from Springer Mountain Georgia to Mount Katahdin Maine, a distance of 2176.1 miles. The average thru-hike can last anywhere from 4 to 8 months. Since I am starting early (on January 14th), I could finish as early as May, however, access to Katahdin is denied until all the snow has melted from the summit (this usually happens around May 31st). I need to be at school next September, so I won't be finishing after that. Basically, you're best with a date between June 1st and August 1st.

If two or more people bet on the same date and win, the winnings will be split evenly.

Finally, betting will finish on April 1st, at which point you'll just have to wait and see.

The following dates have been bought:

August 10th -- Natalia S
August 7th -- Eva C
August 1st -- Robin S
July 30th -- Jim & Gina
July 29th -- Michael L
July 16th -- Adele L
July 13th -- Joan V
July 12th -- Susie M
July 8th -- Joan V
July 7th -- Lisa Y
July 4th -- Jim & Gina
July 1st -- Chris L
June 29th -- Susie C
June 21st -- Kevin H
June 17th -- Doone M
June 16th -- Jim & Gina
June 13th -- Eva C
June 11th -- Patrick L
June 10th -- Tom C
June 7th -- Margaret C
June 4th -- Susan C
May 31st -- Michael L
May 28th -- Jim & Gina

Pool: $110.00
Jackpot: $55.00

Enter the Raffle:

Also, some folks have expressed concern that I will "throw" the bet by walking faster or slower to help people out. I am hiking my own hike, and will finish when I bloody well want to. But if you still want me to finish on your day, I accept bribes in the form of Hamburgers and Kraft Easy Mac (just kidding). No, really, I won't throw the results. I believe in the mantra "hike your own hike" and I am doing this to escape from outside pressures.

Thanks

2007-01-07T20:35:00.000-05:00

Thanks, Josh for asking me to be your "reporter" during your journey.
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Josh's Dad. I'll be updating this journal as he calls in from time to time and tells us where in the hell on his journey he happens to be. I might also be able to post a few pics too when he sends them.

One week to go before Josh takes that first step from Springer Mountain. One small step maybe but a huge step in Josh's life. We talked tonight. We often talk but sometimes it's just the small change kind of conversation. Tonight was not one of those. Josh told me about how important it was for him to complete this thru-hike of the AT. Even thought he's accomplished a lot in his life and as a Dad I'm very proud of a lot of things he's done, he says that he has a hard time finishing things to completion. He doesn't like the boredom he finds in the journey to completion. His AT Hike is his way of challenging himself to look the tiger (or bear) in the eye and wake up every day and take one step at a time towards completing something HUGE!

I get how important it is for him to complete this journey. As an Aussie I'm familiar with the tradition of "going walkabout" and how one can literally find one's soul on such a pilgrimage. Sometimes I wish I could join him and be there with him but I know that wouldn't work. This is his journey.

I love you, Josh and wish you well every step of the way. HYOH, my man!

Fly By Mike
The Trail Angel with Wings

Ask Zero

2007-01-03T17:53:00.000-05:00

As Zero maintains his journal, he has received many questions about things, however out here on the trail he doesn't have time to give in-depth answers all the time. What he's learned is that time is money, and the more time he spends out here, the more money he will need to finish. He'll do is best to answer all questions, but a donation is greatly appreciated.

Zero's Journal

Ask Zero:

How to Send a Care Package

2007-01-02T03:29:00.000-05:00

So, you must all be dying to know, how do you send an AT thruhiker a care package?

The very most important thing to consider is weight. While a few more ounces may not be much more expensive to ship, remember that as a thruhiker, I will be carrying everything I own on my back. This includes anything you send me. Please keep that in mind when choosing items to include in a care package.

Ok, so what's good to send? Edible items are always appreciated. The average thruhiker burns roughly 6000 calories per day. It's difficult to replace them all, but we sure do try. Homemade items are great, but a few candy bars can be enjoyed too. For many items, it might be a good idea to remove the packaging (if I know you already), and repackage in zip-lock bags. This reduces the amount of trash I will have to carry around with me.

But sending me packages is supposed to be fun, gratifying, and easy, not tedious, so here's the easiest way to do it. Instead of trying to coordinate with my schedule, and hoping you get the address correct, just send goodies to my base-camp support network (my parents). Call my Mom, Lori, to get the address. If you don't have the number, I wouldn't trust food from you anyways.
This way, it can all be repackaged, and included with my other care packages in adequate portions.

Thanks,

Signor Felice

Resupply List, Part I

2007-01-02T03:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've begun taking my rough plans, and typing them up in a format somewhat useful for you, my loyal readers and support network. Here is The first month, from Springer Mountain to Smokey Mountain State Park.

Formatting:

Town Names in Bold (Estimated Arrival Date)

Details about the town/hostel

Address in Italics

(see post "How to send a care package")

Distance to next town :: Number of days food needed (how I got it)

------------------------------------------------------

Begin: Springer Mountain

30.5 miles :: 4 days (brought with me)

Neels Gap (Jan 18th)

Overnight Stay

9710 Gainesville Hwy,

Blairsville, GA 30512

31.1 miles :: 4 days (shipped to Neels Gap)

Hiawassee (Jan 23rd)

Long Term Resupply

No Overnight Stay

Crossing into North Carolina

67.3 miles :: 7 days (bought in Hiawassee)

Nanthala Outdoor Center (Jan 30th)

Overnight Stay

13077 Hwy. 19W

Bryson City, NC 28713

28.7 miles :: 3 days (shipped)

Fontana Dam (Feb 3)

Fontana Dam, NC 28733

No Overnight Stay

75.8 Miles :: 7 days (shipped)

Standing Bear Farm (Feb 10th)

Overnight Stay

4255 Green Corner Rd.

Hartford, TN 37753

Date is Set

2007-01-02T01:31:00.000-05:00

The start date for my hike has been set. I've bought the ticket! I'll be flying from Albany to Jackson on Friday January 12th. I'll spend the night with my girlfriend Margaret, then she and I will drive to Atlanta. After another night together in Georigia, I'll start walking North, early on the 14th. So, less than two weeks of planning remain!

Also, hopefully tomorrow I'll be posting sponsorship options and other fun raffles, pools, and bets. I'll also be adding a subscription feature, so that you can sign up to receive updates via e-mail.

Got my Gear!

2006-12-17T19:24:00.000-05:00

My gear arrived from REI last week. I got an REI Roadster 1 person tent, and the Mojave 10-degree sleeping bag. My base pack weight is going to be about 12 pounds without food or water, which is pretty good. Fully loaded it should be under 30 pounds, which is sweet!

Just 25 more days!

Welcome!

2006-12-13T19:43:00.000-05:00

Welcome to 2000miler.net!

My name is Signor Felice (Mr. Happy) and this January I will begin my journey to become a 2000-miler -- a thru hiker of the Appalachian Trail. I'll be starting at Springer Mountain in Georgia and hiking northbound to Katahdin, Maine.

I will be updating this trail journal as close to daily as possible.

Also, please check out Overdue Karma, a free social commentary e-zine for which I am the editor in chief.

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